my head hurts from watching grey's anatomy for 15 straight hours. i don't know whats gotten into me but i feel that something really is going on. there have been a lot of things going through my mind and i dont know how to visualize each and every thought that i have.
what a shame.
i'm a few days away from my 23rd birthday and if theres one word that can describe how i feel about my life it just has to be "emptiness". i don't know what lured me to this state of mind everytime my birthday approaches but i believe i have been feeling this since i was a little girl. i hate my birthdays, and i always feel like vomiting everytime someone would greet me on that day. i cannot explain. and i am suspicious. maybe i had a dishearting incident on my birthday when i was younger. the weird thing is, i can't remember anything. i have a selective memory. and i must have erased 22 days in my head and my calenday. november 8.
i hate celebrating it and i probably will not again this year. maybe i will in my dreams if i decide to spend my day sleeping, then wake up on midnight of the ninth.
something's really up.